Thursday, September 13, 2007
Demons
When we were growing up, often times when we would drive my mom nuts, she would say "Go run around the block a few times". I can't count the number of times I have said a variation of the same thing to my kids. Go run around the house. Go round around the _______. Whatever. The meaning was always the same. You have too much energy and are making me crazy. Go run it off! Tonight, I have come to realize that is what running is to me. It is running all these thoughts, memories, whathaveyous out of my head. I need it. Almost as much as I need food or air right now. It helps me stop wallowing. When I know I would. I need to run tonight. But the kids are in bed. And, unfortunately, I would rather not have them go to foster care and end up in county because I decided the demons in my head where more important than the demons in their beds. But it is nice to finally realize the reason why I run.
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17 comments:
If you would move to Arizona then I would drive over there and sit for you. :>P I think when you are here in January you are not going to want to leave. Especially when you taste my cooking...I mean Aaron's cooking.
Running has been like that for me as well. As you know I started running right after the great church incident of 2006. Such a wonderful release and way to sort through things. I am glad you have running to get away from the demons.
I can totally relate. When it is too late to run (like when I'm desperately trying to fall asleep at 11pm but can't) I do push-ups. Like as many push-ups as I can in two minutes and then I can usually fall asleep. It is a different release than running, but it works OK as a substitute.
Running is awesomely theraputic! It helps us to focus and realize how stupid some of the stuff is that we worry about.
Now that my youngest is 12, I have a lot more freedom to leave him at home for a couple of hours and run. It is a great feeling. If you need someone to watch the kids while you run, drop them off at my place ;-)
I cook real good too :-)
Funny how inflicting suffering on the body takes away mental suffering, at least for a while. I hope you get a chance to get out there soon, and race those demons. Hang in there, girl.
I hear you!! After all the craziness of the day it's a nice outlet for the extra emotional energy.
We're going to have to get you a treadmill for Christmas :-)
I hear yah! Albiet I dont have as much going on as you...but I do find it a release of pent up energy or emtions...I think that is why I sign outloud to, as Lisa would say, angry women songs :p
After hearing this and some of the other comments made in the bloggs over the past few weeks, I can see how communals are formed. Fortunately when Lori and I want to go running and little one is in bed, we have an 11 and 13 year old that can burn the house down while we are out, I mean watch the house and call us if there is any problems. We can run the neighborhood streets and be home in only a couple of minutes. That is nice of Marcy to get you a treadmill for christmas. I have also been good this year, Hint Hint.
Its so good to know your "why". And I think that running is that for a lot of people - I know it is for me. Its easier to think - or not think - when you're out in the fresh air, breathing hard, sweating.
I'm glad you have something that gets you through and leaves those demons behind - I've found that demons just can't run very fast or very long.
Great analogy! It is so true - sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that running is the last thing I want to do, but if I make myself get out there, I feel 100% better by the time I return.
Sorry to hear about your grandpa, by the way, but what a wonderful story you told. A great tribute.
This is just one more reason why I don't have kids yet. Not being able to go run whenever I want would seriously hinder me.
But I totally get what you're saying about the running as a way to burn through that which haunts us. It's probably why many of us run.
I think we all start running for a single reason, but over time it evolves into multiple reasons that change in importance over time. I know since I had children, getting some "me time" on my runs has become a bigger reason than it was when I started for more physical reasons.
However, the most important reason of all should always be that it makes you happy.
it is your outlet for alot of things...wish I could help by babysitting..too bad we're many states apart!
I love this post.
Thanks for the inspiration and remembering why for so many of us.
I posted on the same subject just last week. Sometimes we all need to stop and remember why we do what we do. Life is crazy but it does not mean that we need to be.
Run faster than the demons. You are stronger!!!!
Thanks for the praise. You are so sweet!
I have 58 miles for this week. Wish me LOTS of luck!!!!
I think I started running to get away from my Dad's swinging yard stick. Kind of the same concept though. :-) Exercise is about the only thing that keeps me somewhat sane. I know exactly where you are coming from. Another great thing about running and cycling are all of the great people that you meet.
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