Tuesday, March 18, 2008


You are all seriously too kind.  I'm so touched that I am able to give a little inspiration through my struggles.  That wasn't my intention in posting what I did, but if that is what I have been able to learn and, therefore, pass on, then hopefully it is part of what my evolution process is meant to be in this situation.  Since entering the hospital with Kruex, I have begun to recognize that people are put in our paths for very specific reasons.  Whether for us to help them, or for them to help us, I don't believe there are accidents.  While I am doing my damndest to become a better person, I will be the first to admit that there is a lot of ups and downs.  I am not always as strong as I pretend to be, but sometimes the pretending to be is what helps get me through another day.

Workouts are going well.  Actually, really well.  I love the tri-weekly ass-beatings I have been getting.  I feel so much stronger.  And it feels amazing.  

The strange thing is that I was lazy over the weekend.  I took three days off in a row (which lately is nearly sacreligious) but it would have been so easy to take another off today.  I didn't want to work out and there was a chance that Trainer Boy was going to be gone again today.  When he called this morning to say the workout was on, I was not happy.  After going and finishing another killer workout, I can't help but wonder why it is so easy for me to get lazy like that?  I LOVE it!  I love the way I feel after.  I mostly love the way I feel during.  I even love the attention we have been getting at the gym.  Seriously, there are very few people, especially some of the regular guys, that don't comment and give us some kind of encouragement every time they pass by us as we are working out.  Why would I want to voluntarily stop?  Why is it so easy to just be and not keep pushing harder?  

I have read a few of your blogs (or actually talked to you personally) about getting crabby when training is too heavy.  I know that I am just the opposite.  When I am getting my ass kicked on a regular basis, I am so much easier to be around.  I feel like I have more clarity and I just don't have the energy to fight the stupid shit I normally would.  I KNOW all this about myself, and still, I have no doubt that I would choose to lay on the couch and not move.  I would choose to stay home from work to wallow in grief and sadness.  I KNOW what helps me, and between working out and being around friends, that's really the best medicine.

So, I guess my question for the rest of you is:  If we KNOW what to do, why do we so often CHOOSE not to do it?


Unknown said...

"There is a big difference between knowing the path...and walking the path."
-Morphius, The Matrix
Just because our conscieous mind knows the right thing to do doesn't mean that the rest of our mind is down with it. I get that way around food sometimes. I know I shouldn't take a second helping, but I do anyway and then spend the next two hours kicking myself in the ass for it. I don't know why, but part of me decided it wanted that second helping. I wish I knew why.

Viv said...

That is a question I ask myself often. I still don't have the answer :-P
Great job with the workouts!
Touching statement.... I am not always as strong as I pretend to be, but sometimes the pretending to be is what helps get me through another day.

Nancy said...

Great question - I am a big Anthony Robbins fan. He would say, because something else was more important at the moment of the decision, another reality was more important (probably avoiding the pain of the workout was stronger in the moment than the knowing that you will feel better after).

Loved that first paragraph. I am always striving to be a better person and people sometimes find that inspirational, but I am the first to admit (or maybe second after you) that it ain't easy and there are lots of ups and downs.

Keep doing what you're doing. YOU ROCK!

Wes said...

If you believe, then you there are times when it is not necessary to understand :-) That is what faith is all about...

Wha? You LOVE that "I just got my arse kicked feeling?" Who are you, woman? LOL!! Exercise is a great stress reliever and endorphins are addicting...

The 311 Boys Mom said...

OK, I’m not nearly as deep as previous answers, but; but did you ever see Pretty Woman??
"The bad stuff’s just easier to believe"

I believe it’s easier to do too. Know what I mean?? Most people (me) love the easy way out.

I've said before, I'm famous for quitting, like EVERYTHING. Why quit, even if I like it & I'm doing good?? Because I have no chance of failing when I quit. I can't disappoint anyone & no one would know what a failure I am. I don’t give them the chance. I don’t give me a chance.

In the last few years, I've realized (I can't believe I didn’t consciously before that, but I think I always knew it) that by quitting I am failing.

Marcy said...

I'm wondering this question myself. Like why do I not go to bed early even when I'm dead tired? So I can be a crankpot for the whole next day. I must be trying to punish the kids or something :P Good question Lori.

Mendy said...

I wish there was an easy answer to that, cause I'd like to know as well. I seem to get on my momentum pendulum and then quit, even though I know what I'm doing is good for my body and my life.

I'm so glad the workouts are going well for you! Know you are always in my thoughts, Lori. Have a great rest of the week!

prashant said...

Great job with the workouts!
Touching statement.... I am not always as strong as I pretend to be, but sometimes the pretending to be is what helps get me through another day.
home based data entry