Monday, April 14, 2008


I think it's pretty fair to say that the last few weeks have been challenging.  There have definitely been ups and downs that I have experienced and for some reason, it seems to rear its ugly head by my pulling away in certain areas of my life.  Unfortunately, lately that has been here in blogland.  And I really don't want to do that, you all are so very helpful and encouraging to me on a daily basis.  So my promise to myself is to be a better poster.  Plus, I still owe you all a pic of the tattoo.  It is gorgeous.  I love it.  I couldn't have imagined it coming out better.  It is on my left shoulder blade and I am so, so happy with the location.  Thank you all for your suggestions, too.  I think I ended up deciding putting it on my back because of the whole "sag" issue :P  

So, today I stumbled upon a blog that pretty much brought me to my knees.  I am completely overwhelmed by this family's story and have such respect and admiration for the strength and grace this woman has.  I definitely encourage you all to pay a visit to the site when you have a little time and can read the entire story.  The amount of belief and love she is able to give through such tragic circumstances is truly amazing.

I have shared a bit in the past, but I definitely believe that Kruex's life had meaning, but I very much share in the faith that his death was my gift to be given to God.  However, I'm not sure I have shared the fact that prior to Kruex's death, I really had never felt any kind of connection to God or to faith of any kind.  I was raised Catholic and just never really felt like there was any "fit" between the teachings and what I had always kind of intuitively believed.  Shortly after I lost Kruex, I seemed to "find" my faith.  I never felt that Kruex was taken from me out of spite or hate, but I did often wonder why I was chosen to carry this burden.  I believe it is because I can.  Because I do have it in me to honor him in the way he deserves.  There is never a day that goes by that I am not praying to be with him again, but I accept that it will happen according to His plan.  Plus, I honestly believe he is in the best possible place.  

So, read about that amazing woman and please pray for strength for the family.  I can only know from my own experience a year ago how she is suffering right now, but I can never dare put myself into her shoes.  Her loss was so completely different from my own.  I do know that in this time, through all the events of the last 4 months, she has counted on her faith more than she has ever had to in her life, and I figure our prayers could only help.