Pity Party Anyone?

Seriously, what is my damn problem?  Whatever, I know what my problem is, but the question is - When will I start figuring it out sooner so I can stop throwing these stupid temper tantrums and getting attitude with people who really don't deserve it?

I owe Rich, the trainer, an apology and I feel awful about it.

As I've said, we train with him on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but this weekend he is going skiing in Utah, so we moved the Friday to Thursday (today) and Monday's will be pushed to Tuesday.  No big deal.  I was actually really excited because I was looking forward to getting in a nice easy run tomorrow, just stretch out my legs, feel good, you know the kind.  And then Saturday * the plan was a Back-to-Abs class followed by Body Attack.  Hopefully, a longer run on Sunday*, since the weather is supposed to be high 40s/low 50s, and then decide what I feel like doing on Monday.  I was really excited about it and just felt good and happy.

Then today's workout happened.  It started with him telling us that we would be running today.  This did not make me happy.  I really want nice, relaxed legs for tomorrow's run.  I wanted it to feel good and I know after a workout that involves running, they are going to feel like ass and I am not going to have that relaxing run that I was looking forward to.  For some reason, that pissed me off.  More than a little bit.  I was actually surprised at how angry I was by it, but by the end of the workout, I felt that I had gotten myself back under control and had done pretty well stepping away from crazy :P

Then.  He tells us he has homework for us.  He wants us to run a timed 5k** and also do a timed 4000 meters on the rower.  I actually signed my paper and walked away, down to the lockerroom to change.  I was ready to spit nails!  And I wholeheartedly agree that this is COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY for me to be acting this way.  The entire time I was changing back into my work clothes, I was trying to figure out what the hell my problem was and why I was behaving like my 4 year old.  I think I finally did get it.  I fell out of control.  With everything lately.  I am 1 month away from the 1 year anniversary of Kruex's death and it's starting.  I had a great plan all set up and ready and in my warped brain, he took that away from me.  And it made me so angry.

I do normally try to roll with the punches and am usually moderately successful, but today was just not one of those days.  And it's not fair that my anger had to be directed at Trainer-Boy***.  It's not his fault and he doesn't know any better.

*weekends are always up in the air because of the kids.  I can only get long runs in if I can find a place for them to go and the gym is even harder on weekends when Jack goes to his dad's because Payton won't go to the gym alone (and I wouldn't either :X)

**if I decide to stop being a big whiny baby, I could actually be looking at this as a great opportunity to get a SY5K time in for Vanilla

***maybe I should get him something that says "Sorry.  I swear I'm not a total bitch." :P  What do you get for a trainer?  A tiger tail...can of protein powder?  :P

That Darn Biggest Loser

OMGOSH!  I really don't think this show should make me cry every week (which it does), but I am pretty darn confident that it shouldn't lead to weeping and sobbing :P  This week was such a moving elimination.  I truly don't think I have ever heard any human being talk about another in a way as touching as how Jay described his relationship with Mark on Tuesday night.  I think, for me, the part that was the best was when Jay said that his brother had always been his hero and he had looked up to him his whole life, but since going to the Biggest Loser Ranch, he has also become his best friend.  If those men hadn't even lost a pound, that connection put them as the Biggest Winners in my book.  The kids and I talked about it afterward and I tried to explain to Jack that if his siblings could say those types of things about him, then he was definitely a great brother.  

Now, onto Evil Rich...today's workout was brutal.  Here's a breakdown and I'm sure for most of you it would be a walk in the park, but he kicked my hiney all over the place:

20 jumping pull-ups

30 deadlifts

40 box jumps

50 sit-ups

60 thrusters

70 swinging dumbbell thingies :P

80 push-ups

The push-ups were definitely brutal, but the sit-ups are what I was the most proud of today.  Seriously, 2 weeks ago, I couldn't even do 15 in a row and I did all 50 full on sit-ups!  He had even told me before we started to just do as many as I could get through and then finish it up with crunches.  Obviously, I was not the only one worried about getting through them :P   The box jump was another one that was really scary to me before we started.  I have a huge fear of falling and I don't know what my issue is.  But rest assured, I got 'em done and didn't hit the ground once ;)

Rich is gone Friday, so our workout got rescheduled to tomorrow.  Hopefully, I will be able to get a run in on Friday, too, since I feel like I'm getting a long weekend!  LOL

Introducing...

Miss Tootsie Jo!  

This picture was taken the weekend we got her, but other than maybe filling out a bit (which you can't really tell because of all the hair) she still looks the same.  The kids are still loving her.  Not so much the cleaning up after her, since apparently being completed babied and being let go to the bathroom on a pad in the kitchen is not really up her alley and she prefers to still pee and crap all over the place :P  But they love to tear through the house getting her to chase after them and she even is into snuggling with Payton.  I don't really get that since Payton is about as warm and fuzzy as the Ice Queen from Narnia, but whateva ;)

On the workout front, things are going well.  I had to miss last Friday and Saturday's workouts since I was hit with a nasty stomach bug.  Both of my kids have already had it so hopefully we are free and clear of all other nasties.  We had a great workout today with *Jillian*...3500 meters on the rowing machine with 105 thrusters sprinkled in there.  It was intense.  I do find that I have a lot more stamina on the rower than I do running and those thrusters are one of my favorites (and unfortunately Kathy's least favorites) and we seem to do them more often than anything else.  Well, those and squats :P  Our boy is leaving for a long weekend so this week we are getting him MWTH and then TWF of next week.  It may actually work out pretty well so that I can get a run in here or there since they have been getting the shaft between the trainer and Body Attacks.  

Hope everyone is doing well.  I am trying my darndest to keep up on blogs and will get better now that I have a better handle on this computer!  

Finally!

I got my new Macbook and she's so pretty!  Now, hopefully, it will be easier to get on at night and I'll do a much better job on my commenting.  We haven't done any work with the PT since Monday when Kathy hurt herself.  She finally went to a doc on Thursday and he gave her a muscle relaxer so we should be back in business on Monday.  I have to admit it has been nice to take a couple of days off and get stuff done.  Scott is just about done with basketball and once that's over life will get a lot less busy.  Jack had 18 points at his basketball game yesterday afternoon!   He is really getting a lot better this year.  Hope everyone is having a great weekend and enjoying their Sunday afternoon :)

Work Shmerk

This is turning out to be such a busy month and I'm not really sure why. I spent the weekend in Chicago and had a ball. My friend Kathy (workout partner that I work with) and I went up to her son's and spent the day on Saturday with her daughter-in-law - shopping on Michigan Avenue, lunching at The Cheesecake Factory (OMG! That place is awesome!) and then eating dinner at an Italian tapas restaurant. It was my first experience with a tapas restaurant and I just love the whole idea. The food was incredible, so that certainly didn't hurt anything. We ended up at the bar Kathy's son works at and suffice it to say, it was a L.A.T.E. night :X

I almost forgot...sorry I have been sucking on commenting on all your blogs. I promise I'm reading religiously, but they have somehow blocked our ability to comment and I can't make new posts from work anymore either. All these blocked sites are getting old...What do they think I'm there for anyway? :P

The personal trainer is going well. He is killin' us! I have found out that I have ZERO strength in my abdomen. Seriously...situps are downright embarrassing and I jump rope like a mental patient. :X But 3 down...only 17 to go...Oh, Lord :-/ All I know is that if at the end of this I am able to do 30 regular situps in a row and 15 "man" push-ups in a row, he will be my best friend forever. LOL

This week is going to be quite the test. The first week of actually 3 sessions with Rich and Body Attack tomorrow night and Saturday morning. It will be fun to see if I am still concious once we hit Saturday afternoon :P Oh, and my cousin turns 21 on Friday, so that will not be a nice class on Saturday!

Hope everyone has a great week and I will try to get on the commenting!

My Own Personal Jillian

Meet Rich. This is the man that is going to make me scream, cuss and cry for the next 7ish weeks. Hopefully in that same timeframe, he can give me some kickass muscles, a tight ass and bring my waist back to more of what its supposed to look like.

Kathy and I had our first personal trainer session today. It is supposed to focus on the core and she, being the ninny that she is, told him we wanted it to be "military" (I think she meant like bootcamp, but since she calls the "grapevine step" the "grapevine wreath", I'll let her slide ;)).

At this time, I really only have one thing to say...OH.MY.GOD!!! It was the most intense workout I have ever had in my life. The first thing I have done where I actually could not have physically done another thing. Just not happening. He had us circuit training - 4 different exercises - 15 reps of each. We started with deadlifts at 50 pounds; then moved onto "thrusters", which were basically squats with 12-pound dumbbells that you thrust above your head as you are standing; then elbow-to-knee crunches; and finally, pushups. During the 3rd set, I thought I was going to die and Kathy said she almost cried :X

That Son of Satan made us do 5 SETS!!!!!

I am just plain worn out. But I am so excited to be doing this and really, really hope that it makes a huge difference. He did tell us that we did well and that we were going to be strong as hell by the end of this fiasco. Oh, and he said that the exercises he is using for us are the same ones the actors who played in 300 used and that we will never see the same exercise twice, which is good because if we were doing that circuit on Friday, I think Kathy & I would both skip :X

We also did another class of Body Attack last night and it was even rougher than Saturday's class. This instructor was awesome. At least I can feel a little better with the knowledge that I don't have to do that again until Tuesday. Kathy & I are going to Chicago for the weekend for some shopping/partying with her son and his wife. It will be so nice to get to escape for a couple days, but I wish the weather was supposed to be better. I think it is supposed to be a nice balmy zero or something ridiculous like that this weekend :P

Dear Miley Cyrus

You are just adorable! I took my daughter to your movie/concert on Sunday and we had the best time. She sang. She clapped. She shook her tail feather (quite a bit :X) She was crazy about the jeans you wore during part of your concert. And she was extra crazy about the fact that you had the Jonas Brothers with you (I know she's only 4...it's actually quite embarrassing how boy-crazy she already is). I just really wanted you to know how much fun we had and we have come to a decision. Can we adopt you? Just let me know!

Thanks!

Lori & Payton

Sorry, had to get that one out of the way. Payton has been riding my ass all day to ask ;) Had a pretty decent run today. I'm loving the new kicks. They felt pretty darn good, even though I did still have some arch pain, but it was expected. Tomorrow night is another Body Attack class. The plan is to do it on Tuesday nights and Saturday mornings and then Kathy and I are starting ab/core work with a personal trainer on Wednesday. We are going to focus on core with him Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I was a bit concerned with this new schedule because of the lack of time to really be able to fit runs in, but the more I thought about it, the better it probably is. It will give my arch/plantar faciitis more time to heal and I will still be getting killer workouts in. We are going to have 20 sessions with the trainer, which takes us for nearly 7 weeks. Hopefully by the last third of it, the weather will be cooperating a bit more and I'll be able to run occasionally after work at home.

Workout + Hottub = Gratitude

Holy cow. We did Body Attack this morning and it was insane. It was amazing and I loved every sweat-filled minute of it. Afterwards, my arch was killing me so I decided that it was past time for some new running shoes and Jennifer and I went to Running Central. I completely lucked out and the owner was there to help me find the shoes I needed and to talk to me about my arch issues. He thinks I have plantar faciitis and many issues in my calves, probably primarily from the heels I wear to work daily and the crappy shoes I wear other than when running/working out. But when he talked about trigger points, I knew he was one of the good guys, since Bob said the same thing. So, I got myself hooked up with a new pair of Mizuno's and I can't wait to get a run in with them.

Afterwards, the day was crazy. Lunch, basketball (Jack's), cooking for the SuperBowl tomorrow, etc. but finally after it all settled down, Payton and I went to Jennifer's and we hit up the hottub for a while. Oh.My.Gosh! It felt so good and with a few beers was just perfect. We got talking about crap in general and I started thinking and telling her how I believe pain is relative. Actually, I should rephrase...loss is relative. When I lost my grandpa in September it was hard, but okay. I also had a point of reference. That being said....

I got to have my son for 9 months. 8 months at home in perfect health and perfect temperment. The child was sent from God and that is what we got. I thank Him everyday that I was able to spend that much time with such a perfect little human being. And I am so grateful for it. Again, loss is relative...

There are people I am humbled by every day. The Iraqi mothers who watch their children get raped and murdered right before their eyes. Actually, any parent in a war-torn country. Mothers in Africa who have children born with AIDS or other unspeakable illnesses. And most dear to my heart...the mothers who have to lose their dear sons and daughters to the war we are fighting...especially the ones who risk more than one. I can't, for the life of me, imagine how they continue. But, then again, before Kruex died, I never imagined I could either after losing a child. A mother's love and faith is an incredible thing, and I can only hope and strive to do it the honor it deserves.