Monday, April 14, 2008

Inspiration

I think it's pretty fair to say that the last few weeks have been challenging.  There have definitely been ups and downs that I have experienced and for some reason, it seems to rear its ugly head by my pulling away in certain areas of my life.  Unfortunately, lately that has been here in blogland.  And I really don't want to do that, you all are so very helpful and encouraging to me on a daily basis.  So my promise to myself is to be a better poster.  Plus, I still owe you all a pic of the tattoo.  It is gorgeous.  I love it.  I couldn't have imagined it coming out better.  It is on my left shoulder blade and I am so, so happy with the location.  Thank you all for your suggestions, too.  I think I ended up deciding putting it on my back because of the whole "sag" issue :P  

So, today I stumbled upon a blog that pretty much brought me to my knees.  I am completely overwhelmed by this family's story and have such respect and admiration for the strength and grace this woman has.  I definitely encourage you all to pay a visit to the site when you have a little time and can read the entire story.  The amount of belief and love she is able to give through such tragic circumstances is truly amazing.

I have shared a bit in the past, but I definitely believe that Kruex's life had meaning, but I very much share in the faith that his death was my gift to be given to God.  However, I'm not sure I have shared the fact that prior to Kruex's death, I really had never felt any kind of connection to God or to faith of any kind.  I was raised Catholic and just never really felt like there was any "fit" between the teachings and what I had always kind of intuitively believed.  Shortly after I lost Kruex, I seemed to "find" my faith.  I never felt that Kruex was taken from me out of spite or hate, but I did often wonder why I was chosen to carry this burden.  I believe it is because I can.  Because I do have it in me to honor him in the way he deserves.  There is never a day that goes by that I am not praying to be with him again, but I accept that it will happen according to His plan.  Plus, I honestly believe he is in the best possible place.  

So, read about that amazing woman and please pray for strength for the family.  I can only know from my own experience a year ago how she is suffering right now, but I can never dare put myself into her shoes.  Her loss was so completely different from my own.  I do know that in this time, through all the events of the last 4 months, she has counted on her faith more than she has ever had to in her life, and I figure our prayers could only help.

33 comments:

Wes said...

Welcome back, girlfriend. It's amazing how those of us that live a long time take life for granted. We only appreciate the gift when for some reason those we love and care about are chosen early.

As I said before, I believe you are on the right path. The meaning of Kruex's life may never be fully understood, but then again... It may slap you upside the head and say, "This is it!"

Keep the faith...

Vickie said...

As usual, I am constantly amazed at your strength. I too was raised Catholic, and while I never put much stock in my religion, I was grateful for having faith and being able to rely on it at times of need. I'm still not a churchgoer, but I am a believer. Life is like a puzzle, and eventually all the pieces fit and things make sense. One day, your puzzle will be finished.

Marcy said...

I'm glad you're here :-) I also love what Vickie wrote and I think it's true. It really is a puzzle. One day, chica . . .

Viv said...

Welcome back, missed you! I am glad you loved the tattoo.

I see your honor and strength from Kruex on every post.

J~Mom said...

Missed you!! I love what you wrote and how you share it with us. I also like what Vickie wrote. Someday we will all see the whole puzzle!

David said...

Great to hear from you again, and even better to hear that from you. You are very strong, and an inspiration to us. I look forward to hanging out with you again, as soon as possible!
:-)

Nikki said...

I'm glad your back! I keep thinking of you and praying for your strength and clarity.

The 311 Boys Mom said...

I missed you!! thank you for sharing the link to Audrey's story.

I didn't know you didnt' always have the faith you do now.

I have searched & questioned many times why I don't.

I hold out hope I will one day have it.

you are an amazing woman & mother.

Multifuncional said...

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Impressora e Multifuncional, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://impressora-multifuncional.blogspot.com. A hug.

Running To Stand Still said...

Hey you! I will check out that blog very shortly. I can't wait to pics!!!

I am finally on here so hopefully it will be easier to keep in touch.

Pokey said...

Missed you Lori! I am alwasy amazed at how much strength people can have when faced with the worst of circumstances. I've said it before, but I truly believe your little man is blessed to have you for a mom!!!

Mendy said...

I've missed you, Lori. Like the others have said, You are a strong person and very inspiring. I strongly believe that some of your meaning here in life is to inspire others, and to maybe show others what "faith" really is. I really wish we lived closer, so I could spend some more time with you. You are a great person, Lori and a friend I'd like to keep around forever.

I briefly went to the blog you mentioned (while at work) and it brought some tears to my eyes, so I'll just have to check it out at home.

Michelle said...

I missed you too, Lori!

I went and read through Angie's blog that you posted a link to. OMG, I just could not stop crying. How heartbreaking. As a mom, I know I internalize tragedy like that more than I used to. The thought of another mother having to go through losing a child rips my heart out.

Stacie said...

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you today, and always. Hope to be able to catch up with you real soon and see the tattoo. Sending lots of prayers, hugs and warm thoughts your way. Love you, Stacie

Mendy said...

Thinking about you Lori! We miss you girl.

scott keeps running said...

yes, you can.

:)

Mendy said...

Happy Mother's Day, Lori!!!

J~Mom said...

Hi Lori!! Been thinking bout ya!

Juls said...

I have been thinking about you too. Hang in there. XOXOX

scott keeps running said...

:)

Mendy said...

Hey Lori! Thinking of you.

Laurel said...

Good to hear from you.

You know, I recently suffered a loss of my own and while it was nothing compared to what had to deal with, it was still impossibly difficult. What you wrote about Kruex not being taken out of spite or hate and knowing he is in a better place are exactly the words I needed to read. I'll keep them in my mind and heart when I start feeling sorry for myself.

Hope you are doing well. Take care of yourself. Can't wait to see the tattoo!

J~Mom said...

Where is my friend? :>D

Juls said...

I don't know if you check your comments anymore, but I just was stopping by to say "hello."

Hugs,
Juls

Laurel said...

You're missed.

scott keeps running said...

Hope all is well! :)

Mendy said...

Miss you Lori!

David said...

Oh where, oh where has our Lori gone? Oh where, oh where could she be?

Mendy said...

Lori!! Thinking about you on this Christmas Day! We miss you. Hope you had a good day.

scott keeps running said...

stopping by to say hi.

hi.

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prashant said...

The thought of another mother having to go through losing a child rips my heart out.
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Amalfi Girl said...

Wow, great blog. I found it just in time--I'm on the front end of a C25K program and can use all the inspiration I can find!

XO,

Amalfi Girl
http://eatrunhavefun.blogspot.com/